Dec. 29th, 2011

dar: (Default)
Okay, I said I'd keep doing this. Still hard to overcome the reluctance. Almost like I'd rather be doing anything else than typing words. I'm told it will pass. ...Firefox's annoying lag when typing in this box isn't welcome, either. You know what, fuck it. Notepad? Ahhhh, better. Look, I can get a whole three words typed without having to stop and wait for you to catch up like you're taking notes.

There are things I'd like to write about but then it becomes later in the day and I stop caring because I figure someone more erudite and likable has already said it better anyway. And there's things I feel like I can't talk about, which sucks. The part of me that says I shouldn't react when something bothers me because not reacting would achieve the best result also says don't write when something bothers me because not writing about it would be best for everyone.
I'm perfectly content to be an online wallflower, most of the time. The only problem is how easily you're forgotten and feel left out because of course, nobody's going to turn to you and say "Well, what do you think?" So that seems to be how it is. You can either stand in the spotlight and draw fire or hide in the corner and feel invisible. This is safer, but lonelier. And also I'm really not part of anything, and I have tried. Plus, as a great man once said, I wouldn't join any club that would have me as a member.
That being said, I do better things and am more content when I'm off in the corner, doing my own thing. I go away by myself, write or edit something, I come back, show it and people go "Wow, that was great!". I join a group, I talk and joke with them, I invariably get in fights and gain a reputation for being a horrible, horrible person who should just go die, and I remember the merits of being off in the corner. ...Where I get lonely and wish I could join a group ¬_¬

A "reluctant introvert" is how someone quite accurately described me. Hey, it fits.

Okay, that actually probably counts as an entry. Another reason why I've been keeping my writing mostly to fiction; prose has a point. You know where you're going, because there's a plot. Well, unless it's Literature™. Which, as I understand it, mostly consists of constipated people who have too much sex going in and out of rooms, usually in Paris, talking a lot but saying very little and having a lot to talk about on account of very little ever actually happening to them. Hey, don't knock it, that shit wins awards and gets read by people who eat dinner with three forks and know which one to use! Hell, I could probably write a well-recieved novella about two people facing the quiet desperation of bucolic anomie if I could resist the urge to have a time-traveling werewolf show up.

Okay, I said I'd do this. Via [personal profile] phoenix: Comment and I'll give you five prompts and you post the songs that fit those prompts. And where she chose to be literal, I'll be liberal. Not really having a choice, given these prompts :p I also find myself having to use Opera to conduct this research (Yes, it still exists. I'm as shocked as you are.) Firefox has become frighteningly allergic to flash these last couple of months. It used to be laggy with it before, now it goes into shock and crashes if you take your chances with it. It's almost like Mozilla don't want people using their product, huh?

A musical meme. Without any musicals. )

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Dar

December 2011

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