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[personal profile] dar
Okay, I said I'd keep doing this. Still hard to overcome the reluctance. Almost like I'd rather be doing anything else than typing words. I'm told it will pass. ...Firefox's annoying lag when typing in this box isn't welcome, either. You know what, fuck it. Notepad? Ahhhh, better. Look, I can get a whole three words typed without having to stop and wait for you to catch up like you're taking notes.

There are things I'd like to write about but then it becomes later in the day and I stop caring because I figure someone more erudite and likable has already said it better anyway. And there's things I feel like I can't talk about, which sucks. The part of me that says I shouldn't react when something bothers me because not reacting would achieve the best result also says don't write when something bothers me because not writing about it would be best for everyone.
I'm perfectly content to be an online wallflower, most of the time. The only problem is how easily you're forgotten and feel left out because of course, nobody's going to turn to you and say "Well, what do you think?" So that seems to be how it is. You can either stand in the spotlight and draw fire or hide in the corner and feel invisible. This is safer, but lonelier. And also I'm really not part of anything, and I have tried. Plus, as a great man once said, I wouldn't join any club that would have me as a member.
That being said, I do better things and am more content when I'm off in the corner, doing my own thing. I go away by myself, write or edit something, I come back, show it and people go "Wow, that was great!". I join a group, I talk and joke with them, I invariably get in fights and gain a reputation for being a horrible, horrible person who should just go die, and I remember the merits of being off in the corner. ...Where I get lonely and wish I could join a group ¬_¬

A "reluctant introvert" is how someone quite accurately described me. Hey, it fits.

Okay, that actually probably counts as an entry. Another reason why I've been keeping my writing mostly to fiction; prose has a point. You know where you're going, because there's a plot. Well, unless it's Literature™. Which, as I understand it, mostly consists of constipated people who have too much sex going in and out of rooms, usually in Paris, talking a lot but saying very little and having a lot to talk about on account of very little ever actually happening to them. Hey, don't knock it, that shit wins awards and gets read by people who eat dinner with three forks and know which one to use! Hell, I could probably write a well-recieved novella about two people facing the quiet desperation of bucolic anomie if I could resist the urge to have a time-traveling werewolf show up.

Okay, I said I'd do this. Via [personal profile] phoenix: Comment and I'll give you five prompts and you post the songs that fit those prompts. And where she chose to be literal, I'll be liberal. Not really having a choice, given these prompts :p I also find myself having to use Opera to conduct this research (Yes, it still exists. I'm as shocked as you are.) Firefox has become frighteningly allergic to flash these last couple of months. It used to be laggy with it before, now it goes into shock and crashes if you take your chances with it. It's almost like Mozilla don't want people using their product, huh?

1. Foxes


I really don't know that many songs about foxes, and I bet you don't either. Face it, someone tells you to try to think of a song pertaining to foxes, you'll probably think of this.

2. The city centre


Quite an underrated Bowie track, I must say. This sometimes happens to songs tucked all the way at the end of an album. There are lots of songs about cities. Usually particular cities, but not cities in general. Usually when people sing about cities, they rarely have something nice to say. Which is odd, because there's usually lots of songs about how great nightclubs are, which are in cities, and nightclubs are usually as shit and pointless as the songs about them.

3. An empty pier


This one was easy. I remember reading Ken Grimwood's "Replay" where the main character is Groundhog Day-ing his entire life, and hears this song when it's new for the first time again. At the time, I didn't know enough to about Otis Redding to know this was a posthumous hit for him. His only number one, in fact. So it makes the song kind of sadder. I imagine it being sung from a strange kind of afterlife, where there's neither happiness or despair, but there is dissatisfaction because nothing's different, nothing is going to change, so you're just going to sit on the pier, watch the tides, be lonely for a while and come to terms with it.

4. A spring wind


Another posthumous song (Sorry if it seems like a theme is developing). This doesn't have the same feel as the last, however. To me it seems more like someone who is still alive, though at the midnight of their life, obviously. Thinking about the seasons when you're old and having to be conditional when you talk about them. If you're around in winter. If you see spring again. It's hard to imagine you hit a point in your life where things you take for granted are going to go on without you. Wondering if this will be the last time you see the trees change. We almost never know when the last time for something IS the last time.

5. Demolition


If I was being literal, I could have done The Police's "Demolition Man", but I'm not. So I picked a song that sounds cool to blow shit up to. This tune is the reason why I should never, ever own a car or probably even learn to drive. I'd just crank this up to full volume, blow every other car off the road, flip over police cars and cause millions in property damage. And that's probably at least two points on your licence.
May I also say how much I love this soundtrack and how useful I've found it in writing a particular chapter where a character who normally isn't known for kicking ass seriously gets to tear an entire building apart. A part of me kinda hopes at least one person will notice the influence and go "Wait, you made her Batman?!"

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Date: 2011-12-30 05:29 am (UTC)
From: [personal profile] rho
Actually, as soon as I saw the foxes prompt, I instantly thought of http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OvMMznRpn6g which I am apparently now telling you just to prove you wrong because I'm contrary like that.

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December 2011

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